


Outlaw

by Star55



Series: Shades of Pink (Crazy in Love) [21]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Body Image, F/F, Girl Direction, Slut Shaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2020-01-04 13:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18344705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star55/pseuds/Star55
Summary: She can see them whispering behind their hands when they look at her in the corridors between their lessons. She can hear the words fall from their lips ‘what aslag’ they say while giggling.A Shades of Pink story in which they're 13 years old and Niall has just moved to London after herincidentback in Ireland.





	Outlaw

**Author's Note:**

> !!! the trio are _13 years old_ in this fic, so there isn't anything graphic, or descriptive. This piece _does_ , however, have some slut shaming words directed at Niall and whispered behind her back. There is also a few body issue comments in this part, too. 
> 
> Thank you to Emma for the Brit-pick and the beta read on such short notice, you are a GEM. And thank you to Leah for her everything. Her enthusiasm makes me so happy and I can't express just how much I love her.  
> Any leftover mistakes are my own. Please (kindly) tell me if you find something glaringly awful.
> 
>  
> 
> Please do not break the fourth wall and show this to anyone in the band, their family, friends, etc, etc. Thank you.

First days of school suck.

First days of school in the middle of a school year suck even more. Niall sighs as she hefts her school bag over her shoulder. 

Stupid posh school, she thinks as she trudges up the stairs, her head down, looking at her feet to make sure she doesn’t trip over these stupid new shoes that are killing her feet already. Her tights are riding up her bum, and her hair has never been as tight against her head as it is now. She never had to wear her hair in a ponytail at her old school. The rules weren’t as strict back home in Ireland. 

But now she’s at this stupid, posh, all girls’ school in the heart of London where she can’t make a _scene_ again or her parents will have her head. At least they paid attention to her when she was making scenes back in Ireland. 

Another sigh escapes her as she thinks about the fact that her parents have barely looked at her since the move. She doesn’t know what else to do to get them to pay attention to her. She’s sick of being their thirteen year old mistake. _That_ they tell her enough.

Niall is a little out of breath by the time she reaches the top of the stairs. She pauses, hands on her hips, her jumper itching her through her stiff button down shirt. She takes a moment, looking around, trying to get her breathing back under control. 

She wants to bolt. She wants to just run away. She could steal some money from her parents – they’re rich so it’s not like they’d notice a few quid missing. She might miss Greg, though. But she just wants to go _home_. She misses Ireland. She misses the familiarity of her old neighbourhood and her friends. Well, what’s left of them.

After… well, after her _incident_ , Niall’s friends dropped like flies. Even her closest friends were calling her a slag behind her back. And worse – to her face. But she could deal with that. She _did_ deal with that. Just because she’s only thirteen doesn’t mean that she isn’t capable of dealing with heavy topics. 

Her entire _life_ is a heavy topic.

She shakes her head, trying to push away thoughts of phantom hands holding her hips, and phantom lips kissing her neck, telling her that she could make it _big_ in the music business if she wanted to. Despite her parents telling her the opposite her entire life.

Niall squares her jaw, licks her lips and takes the first step into her new life–

And immediately crashes into someone.

Surprisingly, neither of them fall. The girl has quick reflexes, and strong arms that wind their way around Niall’s middle. Stronger than she looks, considering she’s rake thin and looks like she could easily snap in half if a strong enough breeze blew her way.

“Shit, sorry,” Niall apologises, righting herself. She quickly steps out of the other girl’s hold and smooths her hands down the itchy jumper. 

“Irish?” the girl says, cocking her head to the side slightly. An amused smile plays on her lips.

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m Irish,” she says with a nod. Christ. Even in another country cute girls make Niall lose all ability to form coherent sentences. 

“I’m Zayn,” the girl says, sticking out her hand. “Nice to meet you, Irish.”

Niall shakes her head. “It’s Niall,” she says, dropping the girl’s hand. The last thing she needs is to cling onto a girl for too long and get called a slag here. Not that any of these people know who she is – thank goodness. But this school is filled with girls like her – kids of celebrities, big money bosses, and whoever is rich enough to send their kids here. 

“Are you new here?” Zayn asks, blinking a little slowly in Niall’s direction. 

God her eyes are gorgeous, Niall thinks. She just wants to stare at them for a while.

“Yeah,” Niall nods. “Today’s me first day. I’m just trying to get to the front office.”

“Here, I’ll show you,” Zayn says kindly. Niall is immediately suspicious. Where she comes from no one does anything for nothing. She expects that it will be exactly the same here. Things are always the same everywhere she goes – everyone _wants_ things. Things from her, things from her family – everything.

Niall feels bad the second she realises that Zayn is talking to her. She chews on her bottom lip and tries to concentrate on what she’s saying. She pieces together that Zayn is talking about teachers and what lessons they teach.

They reach the front office together and Zayn opens the door for her. She gives Niall a smile that makes Niall’s stomach flutter pleasantly.

“Come find me at lunch,” Zayn says softly. “I’ll save you a seat.”

“Thanks,” Niall says, nodding. Her ponytail bobs behind her. Zayn’s easy smile stays with Niall for the remainder of the day.

~*~

It doesn’t take long before the girls at school figure out exactly _who_ Niall is.

She tries to not let it get to her, but some things are easier said than done. 

She spends her first week already angry at her parents for forcing them to move, but now she’s angry at these girls for judging her for things that happened in her past. Her quite _recent_ past, but it’s still in the past. It’s something that she wants to forget and never really think of again.

But these girls just won’t _let it go_.

She can see them whispering behind their hands when they look at her in the corridors between their lessons. She can hear the words fall from their lips ‘ _what a_ slag’ they say while giggling. Along with ‘ _I can’t believe she would_ do _that! Eww!_ ’ which she’s met with more times than she’d care to admit. It’s disheartening when she can’t even find Zayn around the school – so she stops looking. All of the comments and snide remarks are making Niall drink a lot more than she usually would. She’s been a regular drinker of beer since she was ten and Greg gave her a bottle of Guinness, but after her _incident_ , she’s decided that she likes the taste of Bourbon more – it burns out the phantom tastes in her mouth that she’d rather forget.

Every day, she gets home from school to an empty house. A large, excessive, over the top house that her parents bought. She’s alone every single day. She absolutely hates it.

And because she’s alone, friendless, and her parents have a _very big_ alcohol selection, she helps herself to whatever her hands reach. She prefers beer, but these days, she reaches for the harder stuff.

And then something changes.

One month into being at the school from hell, a girl sits opposite her in the canteen. She’s tall, lanky, has obnoxiously big hair for someone so white, and she has big eyes that make her look a little like a bug or an alien at first glance, but she’s sitting down opposite Niall, rendering Niall completely speechless.

“Hi, I’m Harry!” the girl says, giving Niall a beaming smile. “You’re Niall, right? Zayn told me about you.”

She talks slower than Niall thinks a girl like her should. She looks like she’d be a fast talker. It’s probably because she has a big mouth. Like physically has a big mouth. But it somehow suits her. Goes with her big eyes and bigger hair.

Then, to Niall’s complete surprise, Zayn sits down next to Harry. She nods once at Niall, and then opens her lunch, immediately shoving food into her mouth. Niall has no idea what is going on.

“Why are you sitting here?” she eventually is able to ask.

“Zayn said you’re new,” Harry replies. “I was away for a few weeks – but I’m back now.”

Niall nods like she has any clue what Harry is on about. Before she can even ask, an older girl appears next to them and lets out an exasperated sigh. 

“H,” the girl says, “you took my lunch by mistake this morning. Here’s yours.” She thrusts out a sparkly pink lunch box and Harry accepts it, setting it down on the table. She reaches into her own backpack and passes over a sparkly purple lunch box. 

“No idea how that happened,” Harry says. She sounds sincere to Niall, at least.

“Loser,” the girl teases, her tone a little fond. She glances over at Niall, who blushes as she’s caught staring. She can’t really help it – the girl is gorgeous. She has dark hair. Not as dark as Zayn’s is, but she’s just as gorgeous. She has a smattering of freckles across her nose that Niall is kind of obsessed with. The girl smirks at her, and Niall blushes harder.

She disappears a moment later.

“That’s my sister, Gemma,” Harry explains. “She’s in the upper sixth.”

Niall nods. She turns back to her own food, shoving a handful of crisps into her mouth. She looks up again, catches Zayn’s gaze – her expression is something that Niall can’t decipher, before Zayn’s ducking her head, focusing on her own lunch.

“…invite you to my party,” Harry says.

Niall blinks. “What?” she says, her cheeks heating up once more. 

“I know you’re new and we don’t really know each other,” Harry says, even slower if possible. “But it’s my birthday today, and I wanted to know if you wanted to come to my birthday party on Saturday?”

“It’s your birthday?” Niall repeats. “Sorry. Yeah. I. Happy birthday.”

Harry beams at her. “Thank you! It’s nice to _finally_ be a teenager,” she says. She wiggles in her seat, clearly happy with herself. Like turning thirteen is _such_ a big deal. It isn’t. Niall should know. She turned thirteen back in September and her life has been utterly _shit_ since then. 

“So you’ll come?” Harry asks.

“Uh, yeah,” Niall replies with a nod. Harry slides across the table a sparkly pink envelope that surprisingly has Niall’s name written on it in perfect calligraphy. She takes out the invitation and bites back a smile at the location of the party. “I love crazy golf.”

Harry beams at her again. “Me too! Zayn isn’t very good at it, but maybe you can be on her team? Gemma and I are undefeatable. So it’d be nice if Zayn at least had a _chance_ at winning.”

Niall’s gaze flicks to Zayn. Zayn’s cheeks go red and there’s a movement, and a yelp from Harry. Niall wonders why Zayn is kicking Harry under the table. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty great at crazy golf,” Niall says easily. She carefully puts the envelope into her bag and zips it shut. “I’ll be on your team, Zayn.”

“I can’t wait!” Harry jabbers excitedly. “I feel like we’re going to be the best of friends!”

~*~

Over the next few months, they do indeed become the best of friends.

After a bout of bullying that Niall experiences from some girls in year ten, she, Harry, and Zayn become inseparable. She had never had anyone stick up for her the way Harry and Zayn did that day. It was enough to get Niall to really look at herself. She didn’t want this friendship to ever end. So she stopped drinking. Well, stopped raiding her parents’ alcohol supply for the hard stuff, and stuck to beer. She knew that it was only a matter of time before she would develop a serious problem.

And she found a doctor that she liked to visit, and got some counselling. She knew it wasn’t going to fix everything just like that, but it was a good start. She didn’t want to end up like her parents – drunk at ten in the morning.

She hated that she had to do all of this by herself, but her parents were never around, and it’s not like they really knew she existed even when they _were_ home, which left Niall to fend for herself.

It was how she found herself hanging out at Zayn and Harry’s houses most of the time.

Her crush on Gemma disappeared pretty quickly when Gemma got a boyfriend. But the moment Niall met Harry’s mum, Anne, she found a new person to crush on (she got over that pretty quickly but Anne still holds a special place in her heart). Anne is… _gorgeous_. She has the best smile, such nice teeth. Niall hates her own teeth. They’re all crooked and she feels like everyone just stares at her mouth whenever she talks. 

That’s something else she has to do by herself, too – go to the dentist and get fitted for braces. 

Her parents don’t even notice that she took the money to pay for them. She’s not sure why she’s surprised they didn’t – they’ve barely noticed her at all since they moved. Greg got himself a girlfriend, and they’ve decided that in the few months they’ve known each other than they’re completely in love and want to get married, so all Maura’s attention has been on planning Greg’s wedding, while Bobby has been working. Always, always working.

Which brings Niall to where she is on Thursday after school – in some crappy bridal boutique trying on a bridesmaid dress in some _disgusting_ green colour that Niall absolutely hates. But Greg’s fiancée Denise _loves_ it and she’s mentioned quite a few times that Niall should consider herself _lucky_ to even be in the wedding party. 

Niall doesn’t give a shit one way or the other – she hates dresses. She hates weddings, and she doesn’t want to be in the wedding party. But Maura wouldn’t have it any other way.

It takes all of Niall’s strength to open the dressing room door and step out to where Maura, Denise, and thankfully Harry and Zayn, are waiting for her. Harry had _jumped_ at the chance to come with them. And wherever Harry goes, Zayn follows, so that’s how Niall was able to have her two best friends here with her for moral support.

“Oh, darling, you look _wonderful_!” Maura gushes in a way that has Niall smiling.

“Really?” she asks.

Maura nods. She clasps her hands together in front of her chest and she even looks like she’s about to cry. Niall feels an overwhelming rush of affection for her mum. 

“Thanks, Mam,” Niall says softly. Maura kisses her cheek and Niall directs her attention to Denise. 

Denise’s gaze rakes over Niall. “It’d look better if you had tits,” she comments. “It just _sags_ at the front there.”

“We can get her some bra fillers,” Maura says quickly. “That’ll make the dress sit nicely, won’t it?”

Disgust flickers over Denise’s expression for a brief moment. Maura doesn’t see it, but Niall does. Her expression smooths out and she nods. 

“What a wonderful idea, Maura,” Denise says. “Could you see if they have any in stock? I’d love to see how the dress sits on Niall with them in.”

“Of course” Maura says, quickly leaving them alone.

“I had tits at thirteen,” Denise comments casually. She runs a hand down over her flat stomach. The top she’s wearing shows off her ample bosom _very_ well. Niall knows _exactly_ why Greg fell in love with Denise and it comes in the form of an E cup.

“It’s a pity you don’t have tits,” Denise continues. “But then again, lack of tits didn’t stop you from having a threesome like the slag you are, did it?”

Niall’s face burns. She hears a gasp. Her gaze flicks over to Harry, who looks extremely scandalised. She can’t tell what Zayn’s expression is because tears are blurring her vision. She reaches behind herself and shoves the zip of the dress down, right there in front of Denise and her two new friends. She doesn’t even care that she’s standing in just her underwear, that’s how upset she is.

Niall puts her own clothes back on with a speed that even impresses herself. She shoves her feet into her Vans and glares at Denise.

“Tell Mam I had to go,” Niall mumbles. She hates herself for not being able to think of a snappy comeback. She hates that she couldn’t think of _anything_ to say in response. 

Denise is right. 

Of course she is.

Everyone knows it. 

She’s a slag.

She has to be.

What kind of person, except a slag, loses their virginity at thirteen years old to a sixteen and seventeen year old couple looking for some fun? Only a slag. 

Tears blur Niall’s vision. She has no idea where she is. She hasn’t been to this part of London before. She doesn’t have any money on her to get a taxi home, either. She’s lost, crying, and standing in the middle of a busy London street.

She hears her name being called. Niall wipes her hands roughly over her eyes and looks to where the noise is coming from. She sees a dark head of hair weaving in and out of the people standing idly by, looking in shop windows, and then Zayn appears. Niall must still have tears in her eyes, because Zayn looks _relieved_ to see her.

“I’m so glad I found you!” Zayn exclaims. Then she does something she’s never done before. She throws her arms around Niall and hugs her tight. They stay like that, their arms wrapped around each other, people muttering and bumping into them as they stay put.

“Are you okay?” Zayn asks. She cups Niall’s face with such tenderness that it makes Niall’s heart hurt. She tries not to feel things from this – with Zayn holding her like she is, and looking at Niall like she _sees_ her. It makes her heart ache in her chest.

She nods. She’s far from okay, but Zayn doesn’t need that burden.

“Denise is wrong, you know,” Zayn says. Her thumbs swipe under Niall’s eyes, brushing away her tears. “You’re not a slag.”

“I am,” Niall mumbles brokenly. “I had a threesome. I’m a slag.”

“ _No_ you’re not,” Zayn says. The force behind her words makes Niall look up. There’s a fierceness in Zayn’s eyes that startles Niall a little. “You’re _not_ a slag. Who cares if you had a threesome? People do that all of the time!”

“Not when they’re thirteen.”

Zayn shrugs. She lets her hands drop from Niall’s face, but takes Niall’s hand instead. They start to walk back in the direction they came from. Niall hesitates.

“Harry’s dad works nearby,” Zayn says, her tone soft. “We can meet her there. That way you don’t have to worry about seeing Denise or your mum again for a bit.”

Relief floods Niall’s body. “Okay.”

“I’ll just text her.” Niall expects Zayn to let go of her hand, but she doesn’t. She texts one handed, and Niall is a little impressed. 

“Neither Harry nor I care about the rumours, you know,” Zayn says as they enter a posh looking building. Niall looks around in awe. The lobby is _very_ pristine. Many people walk in and out, their shoes all clacking or clomping on the tiled floor. Zayn leads Niall over to a small café area and they sit down at a table together. 

“We don’t care if the rumours are true, or if they’re not,” Zayn continues. Her tone is sincere, but Niall doesn’t believe her.

“Then why did you ignore me for the first month of school?” Niall asks. “You told me to come and find you to sit with you in the canteen. But you weren’t there when it was lunchtime. _All_ week.”

Zayn ducks her head. “I got my period for the first time,” she mumbles, her face bright red. “I was pretty ill with it, so I stayed home. I’m sorry.”

Guilt rears its ugly head in Niall’s chest. “Shit. I’m… _shit,_ I’m sorry.”

Zayn shakes her head, shrugging one shoulder. “It is what it is. I did try to find you when I got back, but you weren’t there.”

Niall sighs. “Yeah,” she starts, “I took to eating in the library. I’m quiet when I want to be, so no one knew I was there. The day Harry sat at my table was the first time that I had actually eaten in the canteen. And that’s only because I ran late and forgot to pack my lunch.”

“It seems like we were meant to find each other, then.”

Niall’s heart thuds in her chest at those words. Zayn gives her a funny look. Niall is positive that her cheeks are bright red and blotchy right now. They always go blotchy when she’s embarrassed. They’re probably _still_ blotchy from the incident at the bridal shop.

Zayn’s foot presses against hers under the table. Niall gives her a small smile. 

A noise catches their attention. Niall looks over and sees Harry sprawled on the floor, like she’s fallen over. There are papers scattered around her, and a team of harassed looking people.

Several people have stopped to watch the scene unfold.

“Are you alright, love?” a woman asks. She extends her hand to Harry, and Harry takes it, standing up with the woman’s help.

“I’m so sorry!” Harry exclaims. The woman laughs. 

“Nothing to be sorry for, I bumped into you.”

Niall can see how red Harry is even from here. She glances at Zayn and they share a grin. The woman pats Harry on the shoulder and then disappears, her team of harassed looking people following her closely. 

“I think I just met my future wife,” Harry says, plonking herself down in a seat at their table. She cranes her long neck, trying to see through the windows at the woman getting into a sleek black car. Niall can’t see much of her, only that she has nice hair. 

Zayn snorts. “You say that about every older woman you bump into.”

Niall cocks her head in Harry’s direction. “Do you have a thing for older women?” 

Harry promptly blushes. “She didn’t look _that_ much older than us. She’s probably only twenty.”

“Twenty-one,” Zayn pipes up. She plonks a newspaper down on their table and points to the front cover. “That’s her, right?”

Harry nods. She quickly turns the paper to face her. “Louis Tomlinson,” she breathes, stroking over the newspaper print of the woman’s face covering the front page. “I love her already.”

Zayn snorts. “Until the next episode of _Glee_ comes on,” she says. “Then it’s all about Santana Lopez.”

Harry blushes brightly, pushing the newspaper aside. “I’m a fickle lesbian, I know,” she says. “But I just love girls _so much_.” Her expression is one that makes Niall laugh so loudly that she almost forgets the hurt of everything that happened earlier that afternoon.

Later, when Niall is lounging on Harry’s bed, Zayn playing with her hair, and Harry downstairs arguing with Gemma over something, Niall realises that she could get used to this. She really loves these people. She loves that they’ve accepted her without hesitation. That they want to be her friend despite the rumours that follow her wherever she goes, despite her family, despite _everything_. She appreciates them for it so much.

“Hey,” Zayn says softly. “Um. I wanted to ask you something.”

Niall cranes her head back to look at Zayn. She bites down on her bottom lip and gently wiggles out from underneath Niall’s head. 

“Go for it,” Niall says. She moves to sit up, facing Zayn, whose expression has changed to a serious one.

“Um,” Zayn says. She looks down at her hands and then takes a deep breath. “Would you like to go out? With me? Um. On a date?”

Niall blinks. She did _not_ see that coming at all.

“Forget about it. I’m sorry. I didn’t…”

“Zayn!” Niall exclaims. “You didn’t even let me answer,” she says. She reaches for one of Zayn’s hands and smiles at her. “I’d love to.”

“Really?” Zayn asks. 

Niall nods. “Really.”

“ _Kiss her_!” comes Harry’s exclamation from the other side of the door. Niall looks over her shoulder to see Harry peering at them from around the doorframe. “Do it already! I’ve been dying over here for _months_ waiting for you both to get your act together.”

Niall can’t help but laugh. Her smile grows when she sees Zayn’s happily flushed face. She waggles her eyebrows in Zayn’s direction and closes the gap between them, meeting Zayn’s lips with her own. It’s the softest kiss she’s ever experienced in her life, and it makes Niall feel things. Things she didn’t know that she could feel.

Harry squeals at them and bursts into the room. She bounces on the bed, pulling them both into a bone crushingly tight hug. 

“I’m so happy!” 

And the thing is – Niall is, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again. If you've got this far, I hope you enjoyed this part. ♥  
> Please leave me a comment if you liked it. I love comments so very much a lot. ♥
> 
>  
> 
> rebloggable post on my [tumblr](http://star55.tumblr.com/post/183932671431)


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